Insanity

There are times in parenthood when the love and the devotion and the passion for what you do makes everything worth it. But when you are exhausted and depleted and completely stretched to the limit, as you often will be, you wonder why you are being asked to do this. It is completely overwhelming and requires quantities of patience, understanding, will power and love that none of us really have. It is only because we are required to do this, in fact it is built into our dna, that we somehow are able to keep going when it just seems impossible. People who don't have kids must look at us at times and wonder why we are doing this crazy thing. I don't really know sometimes myself. I love my children and I would not want to have anyone else raising them. Still, I want a damn damn break a little more often. And when I think I cannot go on...then I have to. For hours, days, months before a little break comes. Unrelenting.

A recipe for disaster

1 week of shitty sleep
2 sick children
Planning a move
Purchasing first home
Fasting
A chemical fire nearby
Dirty, messy, clutter-filled home
Out of money

Makes one bitchy, exhausted, and burned out mom who considered taking a train to Portland.

Prayers tonight for more than 4 hours of broken sleep. PLEASE!